before i die

i wrote a list of things to do before i die,

these are them.

1. 
   
   go back to Cambodia


2. 
   
   discover God's purpose for my life


3. 
   
   get baptized


4. 
   
   raise a family


5. 
   
   learn to properly ride a horse


6. 
   
   live in England for a year


7. 
   
   see as many places as possible


8. 
   
   swim with sharks


9. 
   
   get married


10. 
    
    go on a roadtrip


11. 
    
    sleep on a beach


12. 
    
    get a tattoo


13. 
    
    run away


14. 
    
    be in two places at once


15. 
    
    ski in canada


16. 
    
    ice skate in central park


17. 
    
    work with animals


18. 
    
    ride a camel


19. 
    
    own a spiral staircase


20. 
    
    own a kombi van


21. 
    
    fly


22. 
    
    learn to speak another language


23. 
    
    go to a drive in


24. 
    
    watch the sun set


25. 
    
    live on a farm


26. 
    
    see an English soccer game live


27. 
    
    work with kids


28. 
    
    work as a flight attendant

there may be more to add as life goes on

so i'll just update every now and then,

also as i experience more in life

the list will get shorter as i slowly cross things off,

it shall be a journey,

come, walk with me.

a dream

i'm a simple girl

just give me lots of land near the beach

horses to ride all day

two or three dogs

one cat

and a family to raise there.

letting go

you know those situations when all you want to do is go back ... back to where it all began and start over. well i do.

year nine, 4th term, second last week.

i remember the moment he told me he missed me, the moment he told me he liked me, and the moment i screwed it all up.

i would give so much to go back to that day, to do things differently, to do things properly. i had the most amazing guy, christian, kind, sensetive, loving, and fun. but my fear of letting people know me, i mean really know me, screwed it all up. i was terrified. the past three years should have been different ... i had so much to learn from him and i threw it all away. i treated him like crap and he didn't deserve that.

i would do things differently, change the way i acted.

my secret; i miss him.

i wont start anything with anyone because i'm scared i'll screw things up.

i've suppressed these feelings because i know what's best and that is that he moves on, that i let him move on, that we remain just friends.

i want him in my life and if all that is is friends, then i wouldn't have it any other way.

he's moving on, and i'm so happy.

to the girl who has won his affection i must say, he's amazing.

hold on tight, don't let him go.

treat him how he deserves to be treated.

don't screw things up.

so now i tell you ...

this is my secret;

i'm letting go.

possible tattoos.

in christ alone

here in the power of christ i stand

here in the death of christ i live

no fear

never alone

for you are with me

amazing grace

atonement

faith

the hour i first believed

thoughts????

any add ons????

how is it that one man

could say so little

that means so much.

this is my father's world,

and to my listening ears,

all nature sings,

and round me rings,

the music of the spheres.

this is my father's world,

i rest me in the thought,

of rocks and trees,

of skies and seas,

his hand the wonders wrought.

this is my father's world,

the birds their carols raise,

the morning light,

the lily white,

declare their maker's praise.

this is my father's world,

he shines in all thats fair,

in the rustling grass,

i hear him pass,

he speaks to me everywhere.

this is my father's world,

o let me ne'er forget,

that though the wrong

seems often so strong,

God is the ruler yet.

this is my father's world,

why should my heart be sad?

the lord is king,

let the heavens ring,

God reigns,

let the earth be glad.

a festival never to be forgotten.

groovin the moo;

first festival.

can't wait :)

thank you thank you thank you kathryn.

jessica ruth rose meacham.

this girl has no idea just how much she means to me.
for a few months there we had our weekly hangouts.
these would take place on a tuesday night at cronulla gloria jeans.
i miss it.
i have had many immture struggles, but struggles none the less,
and this girl was there to give me advice.
she told me the honest truth and knew that i could take it.
i still keep her words in the back of my mind,
and even though she doesn't know it she's still keeping me accountable.
it took me a while to get there but i can now say that i've left my mistakes behind, and intend on moving forward with god and my friends as my guidence and strength.
i wish to go back to the days of hot chocolates and banana bread.
and words never to be forgotten.
she is an inspiration in my walk with god and i thank her for her honesty
and faith that i would get there.


i love you jessica meacham.