you know those situations when all you want to do is go back ... back to where it all began and start over. well i do.
year nine, 4th term, second last week.
i remember the moment he told me he missed me, the moment he told me he liked me, and the moment i screwed it all up.
i would give so much to go back to that day, to do things differently, to do things properly. i had the most amazing guy, christian, kind, sensetive, loving, and fun. but my fear of letting people know me, i mean really know me, screwed it all up. i was terrified. the past three years should have been different ... i had so much to learn from him and i threw it all away. i treated him like crap and he didn't deserve that.
i would do things differently, change the way i acted.
my secret; i miss him.
i wont start anything with anyone because i'm scared i'll screw things up.
i've suppressed these feelings because i know what's best and that is that he moves on, that i let him move on, that we remain just friends.
i want him in my life and if all that is is friends, then i wouldn't have it any other way.
he's moving on, and i'm so happy.
to the girl who has won his affection i must say, he's amazing.
hold on tight, don't let him go.
treat him how he deserves to be treated.
treat him how he deserves to be treated.
don't screw things up.
so now i tell you ...
this is my secret;
i'm letting go.
Ah yes the early teens and early 20s was full of over-obsession and freaking out for me personally. I can relate to what you're saying. For that age, I think we worry too much about making things perfect, as though that's the key to a successful relationship. As we get older errors past and present matter less because we realise everyone else is just as screwed up and it's what we make of what we have, not simply of what we have.
ReplyDeleteWe can only truly start to have fun in life when we realise we are with fault and it's not going away anytime soon, because at that point such things matter less, to the extent we think less about it and start focusing on the positive and realising the positive.