breaking point.

what do you do when you find yourself stuck.
stuck in a place, well you don't really know where it is.
a place where you thought you'd finally found yourself.
i mean to an extent you did.
but now the things you thought were never gonna change,
those things that you had figured out from the start,
they're the things that are suddenly so cloudy, so uncertain.
you tell someone that you love, something you think they should hear,
and they don't want to hear it,
they say you're losing them,
and you can feel it, you can feel the distance growing,
and all of a sudden, everything crumbles,
all the strength you had built and stored up, gone in a heart beat.
you feel like all the things that mean so much to you are just out of reach,
or like you had a hold of them,
but as they crumbled they just slipped through your fingers,
and now there's nothing solid to hold onto.
you can't do a thing about it.
and you start thinking whether you're meant to hold on.
maybe its time to let go,
maybe it couldn't get any better than it had so it's time to let go.
but you can't let go, it hurts too much.
or maybe you're meant to fight,
but you don't have the strength to fight anymore,
you've worn yourself down so much trying to be there for everyone else,
that you have no energy left,
all you want to do is collapse,
let God carry you.
you're at the point where all you can do is cry,
but there's no one to cry to.
just God, and just this one time you wish his arms were material,
so that just this once you could feel his embrace, and hug him back,
and just let go of everything and rest.
cause you need rest.